A Man Wakes Up

A man wakes up in the hospital bandaged from head to foot. He has absolutely no idea what has happened to him or why he is here. There is no pain – presumably thanks to pain killers, because with this much bandaging the injuries must be severe.

The last thing he can remember is going in his car to his regular two hour weekly relaxing visit with the delightful and sexy Vivien, a tall athletic brunette Marbella escort that he visited regularly. Obviously as a married man he is filled with terror at the idea of all the various horrible things that might have happened, but most especially his wife finding out about his liaison.

The doctor finally comes in and says “Ah, I see you’ve regained consciousness. Now, you were in a pile up on the motorway. You are going to be OK. You will walk again and everything will be alright. But I do have some bad news. Something happened in the accident. I will try to break this gently. But the fact is that your penis was chopped off in the wreck and we were unable to find it.”

The man groans but the doctor goes on,

“You have nine thousand euros in insurance compensation coming and we now have the technology to build you a new penis that will work as well as the old one. Better in fact as it will be more reliable. But it does not come cheap. It will cost you a thousand euros an inch.” Obviously the man perks up at this.

“It is for you to decide how many inches you want your new penis to be. But it is something that you need to discuss with your wife. I mean, if you had a five inch one before, then nine inches will come as a bit of a shock. But if you had a nine inch one before, and you only invest in a five incher this time, she might be a little disappointed. So it is important that she plays a role in helping you with the decision..” The man agrees to talk with his wife.

Later that day the doctor comes back to talk to his patient.

“So, have you spoken with your wife?”

“I have.” says the man.

“So what is the decision?” asks the doctor.

“We are having granite work tops.”